This one makes one wonder...

Playing football down our local park a few years back, a friend of mine got hit on the head with the ball. For reasons unknown this caused his nose to bleed (despite the ball being no where near his nose on impact). Anyway, to sort it all out we went to our local village toilets, not the best of places but all in working order.

As we entered the smell in there was truly disgusting as if several people had shit without flushing. My mate began cleaning his nose when simultaneously we all realised the extent of the situation. Not only did it smell of shit, but someone had rubbed it all over the walls creating a sort of shit wallpaper effect. Further still, the culprit had taken it upon themselves to draw smiley faces in the faeces. The worrying thing was these smiley faces were about a fingers width in detail. Man can be a truly disgusting animal. To this day, I've never gone in that toilet again.

Lateral Thinking

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married ... They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a Chemist ...... Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers "Yes".

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety..... the works!"

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's Disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes ..... why do you ask ,..... is there something I can help you with?"

Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to nominate your store as our Bridal Gift Registry."

What is My Shock?

I think, she was trying to say ... I'm shocked? Anyway, this class started with the English teacher asking a female student to make a sentence using the word 'SHOCK'. It gets very funny due to the girl's accent.

I think it is Japanese/Korean. Even the teacher can't control his laughter.

Learn English online the fun way :)